Originally I’d intended on
blogging about tube journeys and how I absolutely love them but then I had a
bad few days and my mind was swiftly changed…
Basically, yesterday I had a
pretty shitty panic attack (as opposed to those really good ones… God, what am
I saying?!) and it left me a bit miserable. I’ve had them before and I suspect
I’ll have one again. It’s more the inconvenience of it all that’s got to me –
not necessarily the panic attack itself.
If you’ve never had one before,
they’re rough... Your chest gets tight, you feel like you need to escape
whatever situation/environment you’re in, you feel nauseas, you question everything
and, if you’re like me, you need stillness and quiet (which is hard if they
happen in public).
I was supposed to go to work but
instead I had to take the day off because, after it happened, I felt anxious
and my chest felt tight and, in truth, I wasn’t prepared to step outside and
have it happen again. I know exactly why it happened and I’m not going to go
into it on a public blog, although maybe one day I’ll change my mind, but I
just wanted to express how irritating it is that it happened.
Oh god, I’ve become one of those
annoying people that only tell half the story which leaves people coming to two
conclusions; either I want someone to push for the rest of the story or I
wanted to involve you in one aspect of my life but don’t trust you enough to
tell you the rest. Neither option’s great.
In reality, I blogged about it
because I’m angry that I had a panic attack after not having had one for so
long and I’m angry at how badly it’s affected me.
Have you ever had a
panic attack? If so, what do you do to calm yourself down?